Dear Annie: I have been with my boyfriend for 15 years. He has been a great dad to my three sons. He cooks, cleans, changes diapers and takes care of my sons when they are sick. He has no children of his own.

I am 20 years his senior. Our sex life was great for about 11 or so years. But it’s gone downhill. He always wants to be intimate when I’m not in the mood, but I go along with it to make him happy, and I oblige all his requests. But when I am in the mood and he’s not, he doesn’t care.

The tenderness is gone from our intimacy, as well as the excitement. I’d appreciate your advice here. We don’t even kiss anymore because his breath smells like cigarettes and marijuana. — Looking for Love

Dear Looking for Love: The last line of your letter is perhaps the most important one: If he’s using marijuana excessively, it could be clouding your ability to share meaningful intimacy on many levels. So, express your concerns on that front, with an attitude of caring, not blaming, and see whether he would consider cutting back or taking a break.

And beyond that, be assertive about what you like and what you don’t. In always indulging his wants, you’re neglecting your own needs. If you find that there is a communication breakdown, I strongly recommend enlisting the help of a couples’ counselor. It sounds as though on the whole this has been a loving relationship for you both, and it’s worth putting in some work. The value of your relationship is worth more than the cost of the repairs.

Dear Annie: This is a microcosm of what is happening in our society today. As individuals, and as a nation, we have done reprehensible things. Many insist upon “tearing out the pages” of our past.

A Russian friend told me that they were taught nothing about the history of Russia before 1917. As you once said: “Pretending the past didn’t happen won’t erase it. However, the love and gratitude (we) feel for the people in (our lives) today is what’s important.” — Concerned

Dear Concerned: Thank you for your thoughts about history during this political season.

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now. Annie Lane’s debut book featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information.