Dear Annie: My husband and I followed the recommendations for protecting ourselves and others from COVID-19 in recent months. Although we’ve missed seeing our kids and grandchildren, we’ve stuck to our guns on this, even as others around us have begun to take a more relaxed approach. We’ve only recently started to see our immediate family, per the reopening guidelines in our state.

I’m in my 50s and have a health condition that makes me susceptible to respiratory illnesses. If I were to be infected with the virus, I’d most likely not survive. My husband is borderline of being at an elevated risk by his age.

My stepson and his wife recently hosted a first birthday party for our youngest grandchild. In sending sent invitations, they said they understood if people didn’t feel comfortable attending. Given the party would involve several people from different places, most of whom don’t believe in wearing masks or taking precautions, we elected not to go.

Now my stepson and his wife are angry with us and have gone so far as to post comments on social media essentially putting down those of us who believe in this “hoax.” My stepson isn’t speaking to my husband over this, and I’m willing to bet he and his wife are placing the blame on me. I feel bad about the tension this has created, but I don’t see what other choice we had with this. I’m at high risk, and even if my husband went without me, his exposures might put me at risk through contact we share.

It hurts that they don’t care about my health and safety, while I am the one wondering if taking precautions to protect myself and others is selfish. I don’t think this is a situation where it’s possible to please everyone involved, nor do I believe the coronavirus is going away soon. Any suggestions for how to best deal with this? — COVID Caused a Family Rift

Dear COVID Caused a Family Rift: You dealt with this wonderfully. You protected yourself and your husband. I’d caution you not to bet or guess that your stepson and his wife are angry with you or blaming you. Communication is key. Reach out to them via FaceTime, and let them know how sad you are that you were not able to be at your grandchild’s birthday.

This is a frustrating time for families who cannot celebrate together. The important thing is to acknowledge that, rather than get angry over it.