Dear Annie: I am depressed and deeply heartbroken over the final breakup with a man whom I have loved for eight years. I went to endless therapy and even went to a wellness center in Germany to help me get over him. Nothing has worked. Here’s the backstory.

“Steve” has hurt me deeply many times, and after a few weeks or months of my begging him to come back, he always did. He’s broken up with me many times, ruined my birthdays and holidays, and he’s excluded me from family functions when his ex-wife and adult kids would attend.

I met “Steve” while he was separated from his wife. He said that he was essentially divorced, though they hadn’t gone through the formal process yet. A year in, I learned that he didn’t even have a lawyer. It took him five years to get divorced. We even got engaged. However, after he told his four older sisters about the engagement and they were angry, he broke it off.

We got back together again, only for him to break up with me the day after we got back from my birthday trip where he told me that he loved me.

This year, I had no contact with him from February until the end of May.

We got back together for three weeks. But at the end of June, he told me that he’d made a mistake. He is almost 62 years old; I am 54.

When I told him that he’d used me and treated me as a friend with benefits, his reply was, “I thought our feelings were mutual.” I told him that he knew I loved him, but he insisted he thought we could just hang out. He said that he’s not in love with me. I feel so used and dirty; it feels like I was violated. How can a human being act so kind, caring and loving, then say, “I’m not in love with you”?

This has been a pattern, and I can’t get over it. My head knows; my heart, however, is bleeding. How do I stop hurting? — Depressed, Heartbroken and Missing Him

Dear Depressed: You can get hooked on a person in a way that’s not dissimilar from getting hooked on a drug. That’s not a figure of speech.

Just as the vast majority of people cannot simply will themselves out of addiction, you’re going to need more than just logic to get over Steve. You’re going to need time and support. Cut off all contact. Block his number and email address, and block him on social media. Join a support group such as Co-Dependents Anonymous (https://coda.org), and return to therapy.