How many times have we read about, or have seen on TV news, someone murdering a spouse, partner, significant other, or family member? Such things have occurred in our town and area. These sad events occur more often than we would like to admit. Typically, we cannot make any sense as to why someone would do such a thing. Psychologists call this explosive, violent thinking and behavior catathymia.

The sudden violent catathymic act is typically irrational and driven by intense emotional pressure. The pressure is relieved by doing some type of violent act. The compulsion to act out is reported to decrease or eliminate the emotional discomfort; letting off steam if you will. The murderer may have a clean record with no history of violence. It may be a one-time act never to be repeated. The event indicates dysregulation with loss of balance between logic and feelings. There may be an immense compulsion to do the violent act, which may involve some planning. He or she may delay or hesitate to act on the urge because it conflicts with their conscience. Ultimately, the compulsion wins the internal struggle.

The trigger for the murder begins with the relationship with the victim. What is the very deeply felt significance of the relationship, and what did the victim do to trigger the sequence of events? Why did this event happen at the time that it occurred rather than earlier or later? What event triggered the violent event that psychologists call the catathymic crisis? The killer may have been going over and over the situation, making it increasingly worse with each repetition. The affect and delusional thinking keep the pressure building toward what looks like a seemingly spontaneous act.

A typical victim can be a boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, or spouse. It has been reported that after the killing, the perpetrators feel some relief because the pressure is gone. Then they will reap the consequences of their act, but it is too late for both of them.

Some researchers have said that there are two types of catathymic violence, acute and chronic types. The acute type involves a sudden, overwhelming emotion that may last for up to a minute. This type can also be involved when the perpetrator does not know the victim and may not have had any relationship with him or her. If the killer is using alcohol or drugs, the probability of acting out is much higher. The internal brakes are anesthetized and not functional, also as is the ability to self-regulate the level of emotion. The catathymic tension buildup has no competition which allows the release of the violence.

The chronic type has what may be called an incubation period that can be as short as a few days or even up to a year. During that time, the perpetrator may be preoccupied or even obsessed with the future victim. There may have actually been a bond or closeness between them. Jealousy or rejection can certainly play a part. The tension builds, which can include feelings of frustration, helplessness, anger, depression or similar thoughts and feelings. The thoughts may include a mix of suicidal and homicidal thinking, as well as some plan development. He or she may try to suppress these things, but they keep coming back. The result can be murder or murder-suicide.

It would be wise to pay attention if or when someone close to you (past or present) gives any indication of angry, hostile thoughts. If they say in some way that they can’t let you go, that they basically depend on or even orbit around you, and can’t imagine life without you, you should listen to what you are being told. What they might actually be saying is, if I can’t have you, nobody is going to have you.