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Dear Annie

Dear Annie: I have a question on how to handle gift giving among extended family.

We are over age 60, and my husband feels very strongly that adults can buy whatever they want, and there is no need to send a gift. This is our second marriage. We both lost our spouses to cancer.

I like to remember family on special occasions. I often send a monetary gift less than $60. My husband says they never remember us on special occasions.

My husband is generous with his family, either by offering to fix something mechanical or by sending money. His family does reciprocate.

I use my own money to gift my family, and he does the same. But he gets angry with me.

Wanting a second opinion. What do you think? — Double Standard?

Dear Double Standard?: Tell your husband to cut it out. If you want to give your family members a gift, then give them a gift. It is not about whether they are adults and can buy themselves things. It’s that you take the time and think about them on special occasions.

In addition, it is not tit for tat. You don’t give gifts so you get gifts. You give gifts because you love your family and want them to know you are thinking about them.

Dear Annie: I truly love the answer you gave to Ticked Off. I was so surprised with how you responded to negativity with a positive answer. Your response will help to raise children in a more responsible and positive manner because it is true that children emulate what they see their parents do while growing up.

We, too, cannot enjoy the extra perks that the more affluent families can enjoy at amusement parks. So we make the best of it by filling our time while in the long lines. We play games. Our favorite is an app called “Heads Up.” When we play this with the kids, the time passes quickly, and before we know it, it’s time to get on the ride.

So, thank you for your response to raise kids to be better people. Love it. — Heads Up

Dear Heads Up: What a fun game to engage the whole family. Thank you for your letter.

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