Dear Annie: Most people have not experienced the loss of a loved one from the COVID-19 virus. However, my father died Friday night after fighting weeks for his life. The situation was agonizing and yet our friends’ reactions to it have been a bit surreal. Here are some tips on supporting the bereaved based on what we have experienced:

Please don’t ask, “How did they catch this?” My father lived at home in a small community and was healthy otherwise. Who knows how he was exposed, and what does it matter to you?

Offer your sincere sympathy. My brother and I couldn’t be with our father while he was hospitalized, not when he was trying to make end-of-life decisions and not even when the ventilator was disconnected and he died. That added to our stress greatly. Due to the shelter-in-place order, we won’t be having a funeral service. Our father was cremated without us being able to view his body once more.

Take the extra step and send a sympathy card or text, or phone the loved ones. There is no shame in a COVID-19 death; please don’t ignore it.

Don’t say, “Let me know if you need anything.” Just do something. Drop off a homemade meal or a floral bouquet, or order a pizza to be delivered.

Most importantly, please do not say how much this pandemic has inconvenienced you, or how tired you are of the restrictions. Additionally, I don’t want to hear people’s political views. I just want to know that people are going to be safe so that they or their loved ones don’t have to go through this same wretched experience. — Mourning in Morton, IL

Dear Mourning: I am so sorry that this terrible disease took your father’s life. It’s always agonizing when a loved one dies, but losing someone during this pandemic presents additional heartache, not being able to be beside them in their final moments, not being able to view the body, not being able to hold a funeral or perform other important rites. And for many, it means grieving in isolation.

What an unnecessary burden to be dealing with stigmatization on top of such devastation. I hope you and your family will experience more compassion in the weeks to come.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com