FAIRMONT– A new group in Fairmont provides a space for widowed women of all ages over Southern Minnesota to connect with others who are on a similar journey. Fairmont’s chapter of Modern Widows Club was started by Tonya Mortensen.

Modern Widows Club was founded in 2011. The goal of Modern Widows Club is to empower widows to lean into life, build resilience and make a positive difference in a society and help transform grief after loss into a positive, purposeful future while embracing everyone’s own strength and courage. Mortensen’s goal for the group is also to help build new friendships and a community of widows right here in Southern Minnesota.

The only other two Modern Widows Club in the state of Minnesota are in South Minneapolis and West Minneapolis. Fairmont’s chapter formed and began meeting just this past September. Mortensen explained why she was prompted to start a Modern Widows Club locally.

“I became a widow in 2015 and I remember at that time googling if there were groups around or people who knew what I was going through. There’s really nothing out there,” Mortensen said.

Someone invited her to a Modern Widows Club in Minneapolis, thinking Mortensen could start something here. However, at the time Mortensen had only been widowed a year and didn’t feel ready. Then her personal life got busy over the next few years.

Within the last year, Mortensen reached out to a woman who had recently lost her own husband in order to offer support.

“She really encouraged me to start this when I mentioned something about it and I decided to do it,” Mortensen said.

She admitted that she didn’t really know what to expect when she got started. To become a community advocate, she did an interview and filled out an application. Her goal was to start with seven women.

“As of right now, I have 80 women signed up,” Mortensen said.

Some of the women have come up from Iowa and one came from Mankato, but the majority are from Martin and Faribault counties. The women range in age from in their 30s to 80s.

“We have women who have just become a widow, and women who have been widowed for almost 20 years,” Mortensen said.

At the first meeting in September, 25 women attended. It was held in the basement of the Fairmont Opera House. Since then, the meeting venue has moved. Now, they meet the second Thursday of every month at 6:30 p.m. in a banquet room at Green Mill.

Right now, Mortensen herself funds the appetizers and drinks, making it free for people to come.

To start, they’ll eat and have conversation and then watch a 10 minute video from the Modern Widows Club’s founder, Carolyn Moor, who provides a topic of the month and speaks of a legendary widow.

“We started out having a group discussion but once we grew… some people don’t feel comfortable talking in front of others so I decided to have them talk by tables now,” Mortensen said.

However, she said not everyone has to talk as some prefer just to listen and know that there’s support there. Mortensen stressed that Modern Widows Club is not a grief group, but rather the next step to help widows move forward in a positive way.

In addition to the meetings, Mortensen has put on a few fun events, too. They’ve done a bingo and supper night in Swea City, made porch pots at Smith’s Green House and in March they’re planning on doing some shopping, having dinner and attending a concert in Rochester. Moving forward the group is also planning on doing some volunteer work together.

“My goal is to be able to do fun things so people can meet new friends. When you become a widow a lot of things change and your friend dynamics can change. This is just having something else there,” Mortensen said.

While Mortensen is a funeral director and co-owner of Lakeview Funeral Home, the work she does with Modern Widows Club is separate of that. However, Lakeview Funeral Home is going to sponsor all dues for 2023.

Moving forward, as the group grows, Mortensen would like to keep it free for women to attend and said that businesses are welcome to sponsor their meetings if they’d like to.

“Everyone has been so supportive of each other,” Mortensen said of the group.

For her personally, she said she feels like it’s a good way for her to give back.

“When Ryan died, people were so generous. I just want to be able to help and be there for support and for them to know that they’re not alone. It’s been great to get to know so many people I didn’t know before. The ladies are great,” Mortensen said.

For more information, Mortensen can be reached at fairmont@modernwidowsclub.org. She asked that people reach out before attending a meeting so she knows how many to plan for.