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Dear Annie

Dear Annie: In December, I went to a holiday house party, and most of the people in the crowd were my old friends from college (class of 1979). I hadn’t seen some of these people in 25 years or more. The hostess pulled out her giant photo album, and there they were, many pictures of my favorite ex-girlfriend and me having the time of our lives. I haven’t seen or talked to her since 1985. My question is: Would it be kosher to write her a light and lively letter and catch up? We’ve both been married with kids for close to 30 years. She’s the one who got away. I’m not looking for a do-over; we had our chances, but I’d pay big money for a time machine. What do you think? — Nostalgic in Boston

Dear Nostalgic: No matter how many years have passed, to reconnect with this old flame would be playing with fire, and your whole family would be liable to get burned.

If you didn’t feel that this woman was the one who got away, I would say sure, you could strike up a friendship. But because you’re still wishing for a time machine, I think you’d better keep your distance. I’d also recommend taking off those rose-colored glasses when looking at your past. There was a reason you two broke up. Reminisce about your college days as much as you’d like, but don’t try to resurrect them.

Dear Annie: I have another take on the answer you gave to “Tired of Boring, Never-Ending Chatter,” who was peeved because a friend interrupted his telling a story. When someone butts in to the middle of a conversation and just goes on and on about whatever he or she can think to talk about, it could be a hearing problem. My mother has bad hearing, and she is constantly cutting me off in the middle of a sentence. Then she goes on about something no one is even talking about. Tell “Tired” to see whether there is some way to get the hostess to get her hearing checked. — Frustrated With People Who Don’t Know They Can’t Hear in Texas

Dear Frustrated: You’re not the only one who wrote in to offer that explanation. It’s a great point. We are social creatures, and it makes sense that people with undiagnosed hearing loss would try, however haphazardly, to contribute to the conversation. Anyone who notices this sort of behavior in a loved one should encourage him or her to talk to a doctor about hearing tests.

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