FAIRMONT - Young people in Fairmont do not feel valued by adults. They don't feel useful. They're lacking positive, responsible adult role models. Their parents don't communicate positively, making it difficult to ask for advice.
These were some of the community's lowest-ranking assets, according to surveys given to local students in prior years. Recently, the Healthy Youth Committee held Listening Lunches to get feedback from students on these low-ranking assets. Student participants were from Fairmont Area's junior and senior high Target, a leadership group, and STORM.
Pastor Glen Davis of Fairmont's Christian Church said he has observed a change in students since he first joined the Healthy Youth Committee several years ago.
"Keep in mind, this is a great generation," he said, but they need more direction than what they're receiving.
Students said families are busier and less likely to communicate, work and play together. Instead, face-to-face communication is increasingly replaced with technology. This disconnect makes students feel adults may not understand the pressures they face every day. As a result, decisions are made with little input from parents.
"They're looking for discipline, for boundaries, for open communication and parental support," Davis said. "... They see this as an indication they're greatly loved."
Modern technology, in his opinion, is creating dysfunctional families and a dysfunctional society as a whole.
"One girl said, 'It's easy for a boy to make a date through text messaging, but when you're face to face, he doesn't know how to talk to you,'" Davis said.
Correlating with the Healthy Youth Committee's findings was a study by Hal Urban, author of "Life's Greatest Lessons." The study covers a 50-year period, ranking five influential factors for children. When first surveyed, children ranked their parents as most influential, followed by church, school, friends and finally media. Fifty years later, media was top on the list, with friends coming in second, then parents, school and church.
"Apparently over the years, that's flip-flopped," said Police Chief Greg Brolsma, who is involved in the Healthy Youth Committee. "... I think most people would agree that's sad."
Students were asked what they thought about Urban's study. They weren't surprised by the difference. Students said with "working families," some parents aren't able to provide boundaries, communication and support compared to years ago. Also, parents have a harder time being a positive influence as they compete with the 24/7 nature of technology and media. Communication, students said, is free and wild in cyberspace, and their peers are sharing a lot of personal information, details and pictures. This holds students' interest and creates distance from adults.
Changing the pattern isn't up to just the police, or the schools, or parents: "We all need to help each other," Brolsma said.
"I'm not trying to preach," he said. "I haven't done everything right. Ask my kids, they'll tell you."
Davis advised parents to focus not so much on quality but quantity of time spent with their children.
"Kids want their parents around," he said. "... They want their family."
They also want to be involved in their communities, based on the feedback the youth committee received.
"If you have any ideas for ways to get kids involved, I think you'll have an army ready to go," Davis said.
More student responses from the Healthy Youth Committee's Listening Lunches are available at www.fairmontpolice.org
The youth committee also is recommending parents seek more guidance by visiting the Search Institute's Web site, www.searchinstitute.org/research/adult-youth-relationships.