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Boy VS Dishwasher VS Duct Tape

October 16, 2010 - Jennifer Brookens
The good news (and spoiler to the story) is the dishwasher survives... Mom's sanity, not so much, as evidenced by the photo session.

It was just another day in lower middle class paradise when I tried to clear out the dishes out of the dishwasher. My three-year-old in his own little way was probably trying to help, even though it meant shoving the cart I was trying to unload back into the dishwasher. Distraction techniques fail and it makes the dishwasher unload just a bit faster to avoid broken or slammed around dishes. Time to load the dishwasher, and The Boy decides to load himself by sitting on the open dishwasher door.

AVERSION TIME! I close the door, he opens right back up... I pull out his favorite DVDs, I try roughhouse play, nothing deters The Boy from wanting to sit on that newfound bench. Out of desperation, I grab the Duct Tape that is out for use on his shoes during those school mornings he'd rather be barefoot. I put what I think is a tapestry of duct tape work over the opening latch, but The Boy is quick, figuring out the patterns, and still managing to rip away, even as I try to add layers.

"This is insane!!" I thought to myself. "This is going to be an entry for that Website [BLEEP]*" I watched in horror and awe at my son, still determined to tear through the duct tape layers. I don't know whether it was resigned defeat or a moment of inspiration, but I grabbed my camera and started snapping away, prepared to haul him off to his room once he decides he's going to take a seat again.**

But as his victory of removing all the duct tape was achieved, he became aware that I was playing shutterbug. And he was distracted. So I kept snapping. It ended up with a dozen shots of what we call his "drunkface" (He always prepares for the flash, and thus always looks very out of it in pictures). A bizarre victory on the parental part, but I guess whatever works.

* There is an actual Website like this, but fill in the [BLEEP].

** I know many other parents or parenting "experts" will tell me just how many things I did "wrong" here, and how I should've turned him over my knee or sent him to his room immediately. Fair warning: You Do Not Know This Boy. Those who know and have experienced can testify to just how headstrong The Boy can be. He is not easily deterred or broken. One needs to choose the battles with him wisely...


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The hasty duct tape job