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tree disasters

December 5, 2009 - Jennifer Brookens
Three cats, two kids, one Christmas tree. I should've known it would be a losing battle.

But having one kid who is so jazzed up about Christmas she can hardly wait, I took the risk and allowed this to be the weekend the tree would go up even though the infamous Fatty and Stinky kitties are visiting again. I've seen what these cats have done to my mom's tree in the past. But with a two-year-old hurricane in the house, I'm already facing at least a few damaged or broken ornaments for the season.

Phase one: Arranging the furniture. My girl, bless her, is trying so hard to be helpful. But the kids and cats end up being more underfoot. The Boy bottom feeds on lost remnants of cookies and raisins (I think?!) while the cats continue to chase and harass each other. One cat almost gets squished between the couch and wall. Lost items I'd hope to find are not found, but found a flat soda (that later got spilled) and the kitties toys that were lost last time they stayed here. (Toys are already lost again.)

Phase two: Assembling the tree. Yes, we're fake here. Up next to the picture window, some of the branches are skipped. It ends up making the tree more weighted on one side and it tips. Several times. The Girl insists on trying to put the ornaments on as the branches go on. Luckily, she hadn't found the fragile ones yet. Cats start snooping.

Phase three: lights. The strings are more snared than usual, thanks to the Boy winding himself up in them like the Tazmanian Devil. The cats also start to play chase around the tree, and sure enough, the tree tips again. This time, I'm not quick enough and the tree goes down. No one hit, cats flee, and we lose one glass ball. Girl cries hysterically, while Boy remains fascinated by the lights.

By the time all is said and done, the tip-top of the tree is pointed at a 45-degree angle, the lower layers of the tree have no decorations and the lights aren't working on the lower branches. And that's the way it's going to stay because... Well, I just know better.

Next year, I am investing in a pre-lit tree. Or maybe it will happen sooner, if the comic I posted above comes to pass like I suspect it will. And the Husband won't be allowed to use "work" as an excuse for not being part of the melee next time, either!


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This Get Fuzzy scene will likely play out more than once this holiday season.