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police blotter, haiku style

December 10, 2008 - Jennifer Brookens
From merriam-webster.com:

Main Entry:hai·ku Pronunciation:\'hi-(?)kü\ Etymology:Japanese 1) an unrhymed verse form of Japanese origin having three lines containing usually five, seven, and five syllables respectively.

*Translation: this is another experiment in creativity, and not to be taken seriously*

Any Given Day, any given law enforecement agency:

7:28 a.m. - Mercedes strikes deer. Dent in Mercedes' fender. Deer more than dented.

8:31 a.m. - Three stoplights were run. By a woman running late. Flirts out of ticket.

10:05 a.m. - Speeding driver stopped. Anyone bad-No it's just. Brookens late for work.

10:44 a.m. - Bum is bouncing checks. Has made every bad check list. Charged with felony.

10:52 a.m. - Stray dogs are digging. In my trash all day and night. Threatened to shoot them.

11:10 a.m. - A suspicious van. Was parked on the street for days. A tow truck was called.

11:14 a.m. - Police were summond. Motorcycle accident. Injuries sustained.

11:35 a.m. - Bike in accident. Discovered to be stolen. Injured man questioned.

11:45 a.m. - Injured man handcuffed. To hospital bed guardrails. Placed under arrest.

1:02 p.m. - What's with graffiti. Painted on garage and fences? Gang-related signs?

2:58 p.m. - Suspicious person. Seen loitering in the park. He must be on drugs.

3:33 p.m. - Woman throwing things. Out of an upstairs window. He cheated again.

4:04 p.m. - Riots reported. At every sports bar in town. Vikings lost again.

5:55 p.m. - Little children seen. Outside after dark without. Any adults near.

6:06 p.m. - Checkbook was stolen. And someone had a hay-day. Forging each check blank.

6:49 p.m. - Woman reported. Car stolen from outside house. Found inside the garage.

7:44 p.m. - Doorbell not working. When police went to arrest. Probation failure.

7:49 p.m. - Complaint was received. Very Intoxicated. Woman in the street.

8:10 p.m. - Kids were seen fighting. In the High School parking lot. Their parents were called.

10:14 p.m. - Vandalism call. The small-town vigilantes. Chased little punks home.

10:22 p.m. - Drunk driver was seen. In eastern part of county. Vehicle was lost.

 
 

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